


Strength, Weakness, Insanity

by bravest_person_in_Wonderland



Category: Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (Big Finish Audio)
Genre: (I mean duh), (if you've heard Something Inside you almost have to have heard Scherzo), Found Family, Gen, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I suck at endings and i'm so so sorry for that fact, Ok bye, assumes familiarity with Audio 052: Scherzo, but I had feelings ok, honestly this is so niche, interdimensional adopted siblings, post Audio 083: Something Inside, sibling feels, you can have feelings too
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-08
Updated: 2020-05-08
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:54:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24067711
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bravest_person_in_Wonderland/pseuds/bravest_person_in_Wonderland
Summary: Set just after Something InsideCharley and C'rizz are both still processing everything that's happened and deep discussion ensues.
Relationships: C'rizz & Charley Pollard, Eighth Doctor/Charley Pollard
Comments: 7
Kudos: 14





	Strength, Weakness, Insanity

**Author's Note:**

> I'm gonna apologize in advance for how messy a lot of the dialogue in this is. It's really hard to put India/Charley's speaking patterns and inflection into writing the way i hear it in my head. So uh... just please bear with it. ;-;

_Tap tap tap._ “C’rizz, can I come in?”

At the sound of Charley’s voice, C’rizz jolted from his thoughts and tried not to resent that he’d jumped. “Yes, of course.”

The door creaked open. He liked his door creaky and apparently the TARDIS knew it – none of the rest he’d been through made a sound.

“I just wanted to talk,” Charley began, almost a bit awkwardly. “Are- are you alright, after everything?” She rolled her lips in for a moment as she sat on the bed. It was a nervous habit of hers. Why was she nervous, he wondered?

“Just fine. Well.” He paused. “Physically fine, at least. The Doctor and Tessa saw to that.”

“And… Mentally?” She tilted her head a little bit. Her and the Doctor’s body language was different than that of Eutermesians, which only made sense as they couldn’t change color to match their emotions. It had taken him a while to learn their nonverbal cues, but he thought he just about had it figured out now. She wanted to care for him, but he could tell there was something on her mind. He knew better than to push her. She would share if she felt comfortable.

“Alright, I suppose,” He replied. “It’s a lot to process.”

Charley went silent. After a moment, C’rizz moved over to sit beside her.

“Charlotte – sorry, Charley – are _you_ alright?”

“Uhm.” She blinked. If she’d been Eutermesian, she probably would have been blending into the colors of his room, trying to hide. As it was, her grey eyes seemed stormier than usual. 

A few seconds passed. “Everything that happened, it… well, it made me think. About- um- about something I heard the Doctor say, a long time ago. I think. That it was a long time ago, I mean.” She blew a puff of air past her lips, as if she’d tried to laugh but had failed.

C’rizz’s scales shifted to a darker, mottled pattern of purple and red out of curiosity and concern. Charley seemed distressed by something. She didn’t often share about her inner struggles or trauma, but he knew it was there even still. Sometimes he wondered if she even recognized it, though.

“It was before we met you,” she continued. “Remember, we told you about the… the experiment-whatever?”

C’rizz nodded.

“It was then. He was soliloquizing, you know how he does, and he said something – to the sound creature, you know – and I’d nearly forgotten it, but…”she trailed off.

His colors faded to a paler green in an attempt to reassure her. He didn’t say anything, he could tell she wasn’t finished.

“It’s just… it was sort of a personal moment, I suppose.”

“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, Charley. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable,” he said. He wanted her to feel safe with him, the way he did with her.

She shook her head tightly. “No, it’s fine. I just.. haven’t really even let myself think about much of what happened then, you know?”

Yes, he did know. She always tried to ignore the things that upset her, always put on a brave face for him and the Doctor. It couldn’t be healthy.

“Anyway,” she continued, “I think what he said was… um… something about not understanding love. Not knowing what it meant.”

“In reference to you, presumably?” C’rizz knew that the Doctor loved her and that she loved the Doctor, he could see that. Both of them claimed to be only friends, though, so he never said anything. 

Charley flushed a little. “Well, yes. He said…” she frowned, probably trying to remember. “Oh, what was it,” she grumbled under her breath. “Strength, weakness, or insanity, that was it. He said he didn’t know which of the three it was – loving… me.”

“Probably all three,” C’rizz said without a thought, then realized what she was likely getting at.

“I mean, we saw it today, didn’t we?” She asked, her voice quieter. “He only lost control on the brain worm when…”

“When he thought you might die,” he finished for her, shifting slightly closer. “I see what you’re thinking.”

She glanced over at him, folding her hands tightly in her lap. “Weakness,” she said, almost whispering now. “I’m his weakness. And I hate that, it- that scares me!”

C’rizz hesitated a few moments. “You know… I have something of a soft spot for you, too.” He couldn’t help the flutter of vibrant green affection across his cheek ridges.

Charley smiled a little and softly bumped her shoulder against his. “I suppose it’s because I was with him, in that awful tube. He really wrestled with it.”

“Love?”

She nodded, rolled her lips together again. “I think he really honestly doesn’t understand it. Every time he lets himself love someone, he’s risking something, maybe everything, and… I’m afraid… well, I think it’s turned out to be weakness after all.”

“Maybe in some ways. But also maybe not. I think the act of loving someone is naturally strength, in itself. It gives you something to live for, to fight for. To… give you a reason to make the hard choices and be strong. Because you love them.”

She probably knew he’d thought for an instant of L’da, something flashed across her face in that moment that gave him the impression she understood.

She was quiet for a minute before C’rizz spoke again.

“Those things – strength, weakness, and insanity – why do you think they’re mutually exclusive?”

She looked up and raised one eyebrow a fraction of an inch.

“I can’t really speak for the Doctor,” he went on, “but I think love is all three. And I think that’s the way it’s supposed to be.”

Charley seemed to be thinking about that. After a second, she nodded slightly, then turned back to him with a real eyebrow quirk. “When did you get so wise?”

“It comes from being around you and the Doctor.” He faltered when it hit him just how true that was, but now wasn’t the time to let that hinder anything. “I think it’s just logic, Charley,” he teased.

She smirked, then looked serious again. “Thank you, C’rizz.” She opened her arms for a hug and he complied, his scales now completely emerald.

“Anytime,” he said. “And I mean that, alright?” Something in him needed to be there for her, needed to care for Charley how he had failed to do for L’da.

She nodded as she pulled away. “That goes for you too, you know. If you ever want to talk, I mean.”

“Well now I have to thank _you,_ ” he laughed, satisfied with the way a true smile slipped over her features. He playfully ruffled her hair, then ran out of the room before she had a chance to retaliate with tickles.

**Author's Note:**

> A couple notes: 
> 
> The lip-rolling thing is totally just something I do when I'm nervous or trying to figure out what to say XP
> 
> I don't know if Charley ever told C'rizz about everything that happened in Zagreus, specifically The Sword Scene™ (you know what I'm talking about O_O) but honestly that's such a missed opportunity on Big Finish's part, because that parallel between them is incredibly poignant.
> 
> And lastly, I am terrible at endings. :( BUT! You can join me in assuming that a full-on tickle fight ensued from this XD because they are bby. 
> 
> Hey, please leave a comment if you enjoyed this, I love talking to y'all! :D


End file.
